Seems lately that all my best time with God has been while I am running. Running has always been my time that I can get away and just go off in my world of thoughts. Today listening to a song about living for Christ it reminded me of why I am doing all that I am doing. I am working hard and getting into shape for Christ. So I can live to show his glory. It is why I want to be a nurse. I want to serve my King and that really is the only way I am going to succede. I can't do it without God. He is the one who gives me success and makes it possible for me to dream big. There is always someone out there who is smarter, faster, can hold a plank position longer than me or get more A's in a school year than I can. What makes me special is Christ. He has given me a plan and a special purpose. What I want to choose is to seek Him with all my heart and the rest will follow.
I love running. Especially when it is nice and sunny out. So thankful for a sunny day today and a new day to live for God. I pray with all my heart my focus stays on Him. I can't do it without him.
" Be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power..." Ephesians
Monday, August 5, 2013
Friday, April 12, 2013
A Week to Remember
This week I will remember forever. So many amazing things have happened this week. For one, I got to see my mom who I haven't seen in almost a year. I have loved every moment of it. It has been fun to just catch up and laugh together. I have had so much fun showing her my house and the area. She also got me a sewing machine and made me an awesome dress. So excited about it! It has been so nice to have her here this week for support as I went through the process for donating bone marrow. The procedure I went through was different than what your normally think of when donating bone marrow. The procedure I went through is called Peripheral Blood Stem Cell donation, or PBSC. Unlike in a bone marrow donation where they surgically go into the bone, PBSC is non-surgical and takes it from my blood itself and sends it through a machine similar to a dialysis machine. When it goes through the machine it sorts through the cells and takes what it needs and then returns it back to my body.
Five days before the procedure I was given a shot called Filgrastim which caused my body to produce more blood forming cells in my body. It was an interesting experience. :-) I became not so afraid of getting shots, and I found out that the more relaxed I was the less it hurt.
I am so thankful for the sweet nurse that God gave me for the week. Her name was Jeanene and she is a preacher's wife and the sweetest woman in the world. I enjoyed talking with her through the process. She prayed with me the last day of my shots and it was such a blessing and a comfort. Made me even more excited about becoming a nurse one day.
Five days before the procedure I was given a shot called Filgrastim which caused my body to produce more blood forming cells in my body. It was an interesting experience. :-) I became not so afraid of getting shots, and I found out that the more relaxed I was the less it hurt.
I am so thankful for the sweet nurse that God gave me for the week. Her name was Jeanene and she is a preacher's wife and the sweetest woman in the world. I enjoyed talking with her through the process. She prayed with me the last day of my shots and it was such a blessing and a comfort. Made me even more excited about becoming a nurse one day.
So form Sunday to Wednesday I went in each day to get a shot in each arm. After class on Wednesday Mom and I went down to our hotel for the night. The National Marrow Donor Program paid for us to stay in a hotel right across form the donation site. Another amazing blessing. From all the generous donations of people all across the country people the program could pay for our accommodations.
It was so nice to be able to just relax in a nice comfy bed. I was so tired and sore in my lower back. I felt like a queen amongst all the soft pillows. Words can't even describe how unworthy I felt through this process. The National Marrow Program took such good care of us with accommodations.
Thursday morning we woke up at 6;30 so we could be at the blood center by 7. That morning I got my last shot of Filgrastim. Afterwards mom and I went and ate lunch at a yummy cafe across the street for about an hour. From there we head back to the blood center for the donation procedure.
Again the nurses were so amazing. After some initial prepping the put one steel needle in my right arm where the blood would be taken out, and one normal needle in my left arm where the blood would enter back into my body. The hardest part of it all was the fact that I couldn't bend my right arm at all because the steel needle would damage my veins. I didn't realize just how often you bend your elbows until I couldn't bend mine at all. So thankful for such compassionate nurses who helped adjust my arm and massage my arm muscles when my arm would begin to hurt so bad. My total volume of blood donation was 18 liters. The nurses told me based on my total body blood volume the blood had to completely circulate through my body about 5-6 times. The total procedure lasted about 4 hours and 30 minutes. My mom helped keep me distracted. And they had a nice set up to where we could watch movies while I was laying there. We watched episodes of Murphy Brown and the movie Leap Year. Helped me to laugh and stay distracted through it all. :-)
The whole process has been so amazing. I still can't believe I was given the opportunity to be a part of something like this. I just keep praying hard for the patient and the family. That God would give them peace through the process and that God would protect the patient from infection. God has taught and shown me so much through this. That while I may be little has made me mighty. That I don't have to go out and be a big super hero kind of person to make a difference in the world. God can use me right here where I am at if I am willing. I don't have to have all the right words. I just have to be still and know that he is God and he works in and though every one.
If you think you would like to make a difference just like I have or even by donating blood I would encourage you to do so. I know by being in blood centers they always need willing people to come donate blood or platelets. If you would like to join the Be the Match Registry to see if you one day might be a match like I was I posted the link at the end of the blog.
God is so amazing and is just amazing at how he works everything together. I started this whole process at Rochester College in Michigan. The patient I donated to lives in Michigan. I am a small person and the patient ended up being a small person as well. He works all the together for the good, and he does it perfectly. I hope one day I get to hear from the patient but even if I don't I am just so thankful I got to be a part of the big picture. Please continue to pray for the family and the patient receiving the donation. Pray her body has received it well and that the patient would be protected form infection.
http://marrow.org/Join/Join_the_Registry.aspx
Sunday, March 24, 2013
Catch Up
Ever find yourself just trying to play catch up with life? Would love life to just slow down so you can soak up every moment? That is where I am at right now. I wish time could just slow down so I could really remember and enjoy every moment of it. The past few days have been so much fun. The sun is finally out and it feels like spring. LOVING IT! Got to go roller blading yesterday and today with Thomas. That's right roller blading. The coolest thing ever. A lot more fun than walking but not as hard as running. Today we roller bladed from our house to the cold stone creamery down the street and back. It was about a 2 mile or so journey but really fun. I have loved laughing and just having fun with Thomas. Without having school constantly on the back of my mind it has been so nice to just relax and enjoy the moment. It never feels like there is enough time in a day to spend with Thomas, but I am so thankful I get all the sweet moments I do with him. He makes me laugh so hard my belly hurts. Life is never boring when he is around. I loved our date night last night to the Melting Pot in Seattle. We spent two and a half hours there and it was a blast. Good food and good company. What more could a gal ask for? Sitting here right now listening to him laugh while he plays video games with his brother and good friend online is priceless. The past week has really showed me all the many blessing in my life. The simple things in life are the best. Life is messy and hard, but it's the moments in life where time stops and God's joy fills you to the brim that makes all the mess worth the fight. If that makes any sense. Today I am thankful and filled with overflowing Joy.
Wednesday, March 20, 2013
Blessings
Today is officially the first day of Spring. As I look outside and see a clear blue sky and beautiful sunshine I am reminded of all the amazing blessings in my life right now. First being the fact that you can actually see the sun and blue sky today. I will never get use to the rainy weather here in Washington. I am thankful to have made a B+ in my anatomy class and finally be on spring break.
I got to sleep in this morning and just have a nice relaxing day at home. First time in a while I have been able to completely relax and enjoy the day. Looking forward to Thomas coming home so we can run and bike together in this beautiful sunny weather.
One very special blessing God has placed in my life right now is the chance to be a bone marrow donor. In 2010 when I sent in a cheek swab to the Be the Match Bone Marrow Donor Registry I never thought in a million years I would get the amazing blessing of being an actual match. I am doing a new kind of procedure where they don't have to go and drill into the bone itself but get the marrow cells from my blood. So it ends up being a fancy way of donating blood in a sense. Four days before the actual donation I take a shot that helps my body produce the marrow cells faster and in excess and then on the fifth day I go in and the put a needle in each arm. One sends blood through a cell sorting machine so they can get exactly what they need from the blood and then send the extra back to my other arm. It lasts about 4-6 hours. There is some symptoms and uncomfortableness but as a whole it is really not that strenuous of a procedure. I get to watch movies and hang out with my mom while it all is going on. I am really thankful she gets to come and be a part of this with me. Another big blessing is that the National Bone Marrow Donor group is flying my mom out at no cost to her so that is AMAZING. :-) So April 11th is my official donor day. Super excited and prayers for the recipent and family would be wonderful. Ever since the process has started I have been praying for the patient. I know from different people in my life who have had to go through a bone marrow transplant it can be a stressful and scary time for the patient and the family.
God is so amazing. How he created the human body and how he made us in the way that he did. I am so thankful to be able to get to be a part of the big picture. I feel so very blessed and am just in awe of God. Whenever I start to feel overwhelmed or pitiful me I start remembering the blessings. I am one blessed child of God.
I got to sleep in this morning and just have a nice relaxing day at home. First time in a while I have been able to completely relax and enjoy the day. Looking forward to Thomas coming home so we can run and bike together in this beautiful sunny weather.
One very special blessing God has placed in my life right now is the chance to be a bone marrow donor. In 2010 when I sent in a cheek swab to the Be the Match Bone Marrow Donor Registry I never thought in a million years I would get the amazing blessing of being an actual match. I am doing a new kind of procedure where they don't have to go and drill into the bone itself but get the marrow cells from my blood. So it ends up being a fancy way of donating blood in a sense. Four days before the actual donation I take a shot that helps my body produce the marrow cells faster and in excess and then on the fifth day I go in and the put a needle in each arm. One sends blood through a cell sorting machine so they can get exactly what they need from the blood and then send the extra back to my other arm. It lasts about 4-6 hours. There is some symptoms and uncomfortableness but as a whole it is really not that strenuous of a procedure. I get to watch movies and hang out with my mom while it all is going on. I am really thankful she gets to come and be a part of this with me. Another big blessing is that the National Bone Marrow Donor group is flying my mom out at no cost to her so that is AMAZING. :-) So April 11th is my official donor day. Super excited and prayers for the recipent and family would be wonderful. Ever since the process has started I have been praying for the patient. I know from different people in my life who have had to go through a bone marrow transplant it can be a stressful and scary time for the patient and the family.
God is so amazing. How he created the human body and how he made us in the way that he did. I am so thankful to be able to get to be a part of the big picture. I feel so very blessed and am just in awe of God. Whenever I start to feel overwhelmed or pitiful me I start remembering the blessings. I am one blessed child of God.
Friday, December 14, 2012
What's up with the Childress Family
My goodness, it is the middle of December already. I just can't believe that Christmas will be here soon. Being the second Christmas away from family it still feels weird but I am thankful I get to spend it with Thomas this year. It is crazy all that has happened since June. This year has been a very long year for Thomas and me. The past six months have been jammed packed full of every emotion possible. We both have traveled at least a thousand miles each to different parts of the country. Both starting the summer heading in opposite directions. Thomas was transfered to his new duty station on the Nimitz. Then went with them for a little over two months to Hawaii/California area. While he was off on his ship adventure I flew across the country to Virginia for an overdue visit with my family. And then enjoyed the sunshine here is Washington. Thomas loved Hawaii. Still so very jealous. He even got to sky dive. He promised to take me there one day soon. So fingers crossed :-) Every time I think back to the summer I just think of all the emotions of it. Being a girl that is what I tend to remember more than anything. It was a hard transition having Thomas again. Especially knowing I wouldn't see him for a while and when I did it would only be a few short days. Remember all the sad news from back home in Alabama. A loss of a good young man, family friends finding out of a chronic disease, and Thomas' grandma finding out she has terminal cancer. And it all seemed to just come one right after the other. My heart was truly overwhelmed with grief and sorrow. A time of learning about how great a comforter my God is and just such sweet sisters in Christ God has given me and such an awesome mom.
Highlight of the summer had to be taking a road trip to Nevada to see Thomas for a week. He went to a bomb building school for a month and got to build bombs for the Top Gun class that was training there. We actually got to drive by the bomb range on our way to the middle of no where and got to see a couple of the bombs he build explode. Pretty awesome experience I have to say. And the road trip out there was just breath taking. Got see Eastern Washington and Eastern Oregon and my mind was just blown away by the beauty. And I learned that i hate driving in the state of Oregon. 55 mph speed limit in the middle of nowhere for 6 hours in the dessert just is to much for me. No cell service, dust storms, and slow speed limit equals for a very frustrating drive. Even through all of that it was still a pretty awesome trip. Over all distance down and back was about 1,700 miles. Can check that off my bucket list now. :-) And we got to go to Lake Tahoe! I looovvvveed it. Such an amazing place. Will for sure be going back there.
Thomas through all of this was just trying to learn life on a carrier. It was a challenge and just is an eye opening experience. Meeting the world head on and God has made him victorious. Both started this summer working out consistently and both reached our goals for the summer. I finally managed to loose all the fatty weight I gained while he was on deployment and finally able to run for about 20 minutes with out stopping. :-) And Thomas just got stronger and more handsome. Both of us just feeling so much more alive and healthier.
Both accomplished awesome milestones. Thomas was promoted to Second class Petty Officer and I was able to successfully complete Cell Biology with an A- in the class. We both just feel so incredibly blessed and thankful. An amazing reminder of all that God is continuing to do in our life.
I think the hardest part of the year for me came from a doctor's appointment. I had just been physically having some issues and finally broke down and went to the doctor. I am not a huge fan of going to the doctor. Doctor said it looked like I had Endometriosis and it was up to me to pursue lap surgery to see if that was it for sure or now. Took me two months to research and decided to go through with the surgery. After an extremely extremly painful time of the month I decided I needed to know for sure and just how bad it was. Endometriosis isn't a form of cancer or anything just has to do with the endometrio tissue that is on the inside of my uterus has found its way some how on the outside and can cause extreme cramping and pain and fertility issues. And there is no known cause or cure it just is what it is. So on November 12th I went in for my very first surgery ever. And thanking my God so much for Karen Quick and Amy Quick. They made that day and experience not so scary and were there to help me heal. Being away from family and having my husband gone made me just uneasy but these sweet women came in and just filled my heart with God's comfort. Surgery was a success and the only symptom from the general anesthesia was crazy muscle spams as I first woke up and slight nausea. Praise the Lord for that :-)
Going into the surgery I prayed hard for definitive answers. I wanted it to be there or not be there. Nothing iffy. And God did answer that prayer with a very for sure answer. The results was dispersed endometriosis. Meaning not only did I have it but it was everywhere and in advanced state. They found cysts of a large size and buck shot style look on both sides of my uterus on the tendons that connect to it, in the pelvic region and on top of my bladder. If that isn't an answer I don't know what is. And from what they took pictures of and what I understand the scar tissue caused a tear as well.
So what in the heck does that all mean? Means for the rest of my life I will be battling something that is just eating at my body and causing extreme pain and discomfort. It means I am predisposed for fertility issues such as ectopic pregnancies, miscarriages, not being able to get pregnant at all and could be in menopause by age 30 since I have a more advanced form of endometriosis at such a young age. Still trying to process this chunk.
So what am I doing about it all? Well through lots of research I have turned down medicine options. To many horrible side effects and being in a fake menopause for 3-6 months and then off of it for the rest for my life in hopes that the pain would go away and not come back for a while just didn't seem worth it to me. I have to be able to live and function and be married and I don't believe I can do that on the hormone medicine options. I have come across a certain diet, herbal tea and progesterone cream. So that is the path I am going to follow. So that means no processed sugars, no dairy, no red meats, no gluten products. Which has been a struggle for me. This emotionally has been really really hard for me to swallow. I want to honor God with how I treat my body. I have always tried to eat healthy and have been physically active my whole life. I don't smoke or drink excessively or do drugs. I treat my body well yet at this very moment something is attacking my body and causing me pain and making my emotions and hormones go all over the place. God has given me a love for children yet that seems like already another mountain to climb. And it makes my heart sad but at the same time He has showed me that there are so many children He needs me to love. It is a daily battle for me to remember God and all that He can do in this situation in my life. I pray God just takes this away but I also know that this is something that I might have to battle through for the rest of my life. Anything is possible with God. He is no limited by man made statistics or men's thoughts and medicine. I think for the first time in my life I truly feel the brokenness of this world. I am a broken woman. But what my heart hopes in is not in the ability to have children or in a pain free life but in a life full of God. I have hope. Hope in the promises I see in the broken people in the bible God uses to move mountains. I may be small and broken but I am mighty. Not because of anything with in my own power but in God's mighty power I will be victorious. And I know God has a son out there for me and his name will be Matthew. Thomas and I both agree on that name. :-) Matthew means gift from God. And truly the children that will become a part of family one day will be such an amazing gift from God.
I am thankful for my husband. He has be so supportive and even switched his diet to match mine. Being married is the most challenging but most amazing thing ever. We are both still learning what a marriage is and trying to honor God with our marriage. Both of us seeking after God and his direction in where we go from here. November 2014 Thomas will be done with the Navy. For now we are just taking each day as it comes. Getting ready for the next deployment and all that entails. I just keep gong with school one class at a time in hopes of one day becoming a nurse. For now I am taking classes, cleaning houses as work, babysitting every now and then, helping at church and trying to keep up with my cats and my husband. :-) Life is never boring in the Childress house, but I wouldn't have it any other way.
Highlight of the summer had to be taking a road trip to Nevada to see Thomas for a week. He went to a bomb building school for a month and got to build bombs for the Top Gun class that was training there. We actually got to drive by the bomb range on our way to the middle of no where and got to see a couple of the bombs he build explode. Pretty awesome experience I have to say. And the road trip out there was just breath taking. Got see Eastern Washington and Eastern Oregon and my mind was just blown away by the beauty. And I learned that i hate driving in the state of Oregon. 55 mph speed limit in the middle of nowhere for 6 hours in the dessert just is to much for me. No cell service, dust storms, and slow speed limit equals for a very frustrating drive. Even through all of that it was still a pretty awesome trip. Over all distance down and back was about 1,700 miles. Can check that off my bucket list now. :-) And we got to go to Lake Tahoe! I looovvvveed it. Such an amazing place. Will for sure be going back there.
Thomas through all of this was just trying to learn life on a carrier. It was a challenge and just is an eye opening experience. Meeting the world head on and God has made him victorious. Both started this summer working out consistently and both reached our goals for the summer. I finally managed to loose all the fatty weight I gained while he was on deployment and finally able to run for about 20 minutes with out stopping. :-) And Thomas just got stronger and more handsome. Both of us just feeling so much more alive and healthier.
Both accomplished awesome milestones. Thomas was promoted to Second class Petty Officer and I was able to successfully complete Cell Biology with an A- in the class. We both just feel so incredibly blessed and thankful. An amazing reminder of all that God is continuing to do in our life.
I think the hardest part of the year for me came from a doctor's appointment. I had just been physically having some issues and finally broke down and went to the doctor. I am not a huge fan of going to the doctor. Doctor said it looked like I had Endometriosis and it was up to me to pursue lap surgery to see if that was it for sure or now. Took me two months to research and decided to go through with the surgery. After an extremely extremly painful time of the month I decided I needed to know for sure and just how bad it was. Endometriosis isn't a form of cancer or anything just has to do with the endometrio tissue that is on the inside of my uterus has found its way some how on the outside and can cause extreme cramping and pain and fertility issues. And there is no known cause or cure it just is what it is. So on November 12th I went in for my very first surgery ever. And thanking my God so much for Karen Quick and Amy Quick. They made that day and experience not so scary and were there to help me heal. Being away from family and having my husband gone made me just uneasy but these sweet women came in and just filled my heart with God's comfort. Surgery was a success and the only symptom from the general anesthesia was crazy muscle spams as I first woke up and slight nausea. Praise the Lord for that :-)
Going into the surgery I prayed hard for definitive answers. I wanted it to be there or not be there. Nothing iffy. And God did answer that prayer with a very for sure answer. The results was dispersed endometriosis. Meaning not only did I have it but it was everywhere and in advanced state. They found cysts of a large size and buck shot style look on both sides of my uterus on the tendons that connect to it, in the pelvic region and on top of my bladder. If that isn't an answer I don't know what is. And from what they took pictures of and what I understand the scar tissue caused a tear as well.
So what in the heck does that all mean? Means for the rest of my life I will be battling something that is just eating at my body and causing extreme pain and discomfort. It means I am predisposed for fertility issues such as ectopic pregnancies, miscarriages, not being able to get pregnant at all and could be in menopause by age 30 since I have a more advanced form of endometriosis at such a young age. Still trying to process this chunk.
So what am I doing about it all? Well through lots of research I have turned down medicine options. To many horrible side effects and being in a fake menopause for 3-6 months and then off of it for the rest for my life in hopes that the pain would go away and not come back for a while just didn't seem worth it to me. I have to be able to live and function and be married and I don't believe I can do that on the hormone medicine options. I have come across a certain diet, herbal tea and progesterone cream. So that is the path I am going to follow. So that means no processed sugars, no dairy, no red meats, no gluten products. Which has been a struggle for me. This emotionally has been really really hard for me to swallow. I want to honor God with how I treat my body. I have always tried to eat healthy and have been physically active my whole life. I don't smoke or drink excessively or do drugs. I treat my body well yet at this very moment something is attacking my body and causing me pain and making my emotions and hormones go all over the place. God has given me a love for children yet that seems like already another mountain to climb. And it makes my heart sad but at the same time He has showed me that there are so many children He needs me to love. It is a daily battle for me to remember God and all that He can do in this situation in my life. I pray God just takes this away but I also know that this is something that I might have to battle through for the rest of my life. Anything is possible with God. He is no limited by man made statistics or men's thoughts and medicine. I think for the first time in my life I truly feel the brokenness of this world. I am a broken woman. But what my heart hopes in is not in the ability to have children or in a pain free life but in a life full of God. I have hope. Hope in the promises I see in the broken people in the bible God uses to move mountains. I may be small and broken but I am mighty. Not because of anything with in my own power but in God's mighty power I will be victorious. And I know God has a son out there for me and his name will be Matthew. Thomas and I both agree on that name. :-) Matthew means gift from God. And truly the children that will become a part of family one day will be such an amazing gift from God.
I am thankful for my husband. He has be so supportive and even switched his diet to match mine. Being married is the most challenging but most amazing thing ever. We are both still learning what a marriage is and trying to honor God with our marriage. Both of us seeking after God and his direction in where we go from here. November 2014 Thomas will be done with the Navy. For now we are just taking each day as it comes. Getting ready for the next deployment and all that entails. I just keep gong with school one class at a time in hopes of one day becoming a nurse. For now I am taking classes, cleaning houses as work, babysitting every now and then, helping at church and trying to keep up with my cats and my husband. :-) Life is never boring in the Childress house, but I wouldn't have it any other way.
Romans 5:1-5
"Therefore, since we have been justified(A) through faith,(B) we[a] have peace(C) with God through our Lord Jesus Christ,(D) 2 through whom we have gained access(E) by faith into this grace in which we now stand.(F) And we[b] boast in the hope(G) of the glory of God. 3 Not only so, but we[c] also glory in our sufferings,(H) because we know that suffering produces perseverance;(I) 4 perseverance, character; and character, hope. 5 And hope(J) does not put us to shame, because God’s love(K) has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit,(L) who has been given to us"
HOPE
Wednesday, October 17, 2012
Love of my Life
Why? What a loaded question. Sometimes there is an answer and sometimes there really is no answer to our why questions. For me I am wondering why in the heck a long deployment is so overwhelming. WHen you really look at it, it is just such a brief moment in time compared to the rest of life. But why on earth does the idea of it seem so hard? They are not gone forever and you still get to talk with the one you love. But yet the very idea of it makes me just deeply sad. Out of all the branches in the military my husband chose the safest. So why do I worry about him not coming home? To the point I am hyperventilating in the shower and just crying so many tears. I don't mind being alone and I have so much to keep track of right now I don't know how in the world I would keep up with my husband. And the more I get into school the more busy I will become. I won't know what to do with myself. And how on earth could one person captivate my heart and life so much that the absence of him seems like life is ending?
One man has captivated my heart and unending attention. In the romance movies you see people falling in love, leaving all behind and following that person to end of the earth kind of passion. Like every girl I wanted that someone special to think I was something special. Being with Thomas makes me feel whole and complete. I had no idea on how much I was missing in my life. And by growing closer with God would reveal to me such a special heart. I guess I just need to tell you all about the wonderful man I got lucky enough to marry. Every time Thomas is gone I always tell him the one thing I miss the most is his laugh. Oh my goodness if you have ever been around Thomas long enough to hear him laugh.....you can't help but smile or laugh with him. It is such an infectious laugh. I never laugh as much or in the same way, than when I am with Thomas. His laughter reaches all the way to his eyes. His eyes say so much about him. Just by looking at his eyes I can tell if he is hurt or just sad. I could get lost forever in those eyes. And he has that look. That look where you know he loves you more than life itself. It melts my heart every time. And he snacks more than any person I have ever been around. He is always munching on something. It is just trying to keep healthier choices of food in the house for him to munch on. With this knew diet I am on it has helped with that some. He eats more sweets than any person I know. And the fact that he is not a diabetic amazes me. He is a clean freak but so messy all at the same time. He believes with all his heart and has such a strong passion for the Lord. There are so many memories of him that I think about all the time.
The memory I love to think about is all the silly times we will be at home listening to music and he will come over to me, pull me up, and we will just start dancing all over the house. By the end of it I can hardly breath because I am laughing so much. And always he picks me up and twirls me around. I love having me a strong husband. I get all the piggy backs I never got growing up. :-) But when the day is done and all the madness is over we get to be home together. When we were dating the hardest part was seeing him leave to go to his house or go back to whereever he was at in the country at the time. We both couldn't wait to be married because at the end of the day we wouldn't have to say goodbye. We could say goodnight.
If you couldn't tell already, I love my husband to pieces. I would give anything right now just to hear his voice. But what I am thankful for is we have the best glue keeping us together through all the craziness of life. From the time we started dating I called it God glue. He is what binds us together and keeps us together after all this time a part. And as we get closer to being a part for a while I know that God glue will keep us together. Take every moment captive. My husband and the memories we have already only after such a short time together are so sweet to my heart. I love you Thomas Childress. And nothing will ever change that. <3
One man has captivated my heart and unending attention. In the romance movies you see people falling in love, leaving all behind and following that person to end of the earth kind of passion. Like every girl I wanted that someone special to think I was something special. Being with Thomas makes me feel whole and complete. I had no idea on how much I was missing in my life. And by growing closer with God would reveal to me such a special heart. I guess I just need to tell you all about the wonderful man I got lucky enough to marry. Every time Thomas is gone I always tell him the one thing I miss the most is his laugh. Oh my goodness if you have ever been around Thomas long enough to hear him laugh.....you can't help but smile or laugh with him. It is such an infectious laugh. I never laugh as much or in the same way, than when I am with Thomas. His laughter reaches all the way to his eyes. His eyes say so much about him. Just by looking at his eyes I can tell if he is hurt or just sad. I could get lost forever in those eyes. And he has that look. That look where you know he loves you more than life itself. It melts my heart every time. And he snacks more than any person I have ever been around. He is always munching on something. It is just trying to keep healthier choices of food in the house for him to munch on. With this knew diet I am on it has helped with that some. He eats more sweets than any person I know. And the fact that he is not a diabetic amazes me. He is a clean freak but so messy all at the same time. He believes with all his heart and has such a strong passion for the Lord. There are so many memories of him that I think about all the time.
The memory I love to think about is all the silly times we will be at home listening to music and he will come over to me, pull me up, and we will just start dancing all over the house. By the end of it I can hardly breath because I am laughing so much. And always he picks me up and twirls me around. I love having me a strong husband. I get all the piggy backs I never got growing up. :-) But when the day is done and all the madness is over we get to be home together. When we were dating the hardest part was seeing him leave to go to his house or go back to whereever he was at in the country at the time. We both couldn't wait to be married because at the end of the day we wouldn't have to say goodbye. We could say goodnight.
If you couldn't tell already, I love my husband to pieces. I would give anything right now just to hear his voice. But what I am thankful for is we have the best glue keeping us together through all the craziness of life. From the time we started dating I called it God glue. He is what binds us together and keeps us together after all this time a part. And as we get closer to being a part for a while I know that God glue will keep us together. Take every moment captive. My husband and the memories we have already only after such a short time together are so sweet to my heart. I love you Thomas Childress. And nothing will ever change that. <3
Monday, August 27, 2012
To Trust....
When I babysit different kids it always makes for an interesting time when the kid I am watching is in the why stage. Everything you do or say to them they follow what you have said with the question why. Time to eat some lunch. Why? Let's go outside and play. Why? Every single thing is why. It is cute at first and I can stand to answer each why for a little while. But soon my patience gets thin and I stop answering the whys and just say because, because , because until they quit asking why. Right now I feel like I am the little kid asking God lots of whys with life events. Some days I just want to know why in the heck things are happening. I am tired of not knowing why things are going on or what is going to happen next. I am anxious over emotional and just at my end with things. Then with one conversation with my husband I realize what kind of God I serve and how amazing He is wether I see it or not.
Thomas is so good at seeing things in day to day life that I don't always see. He speaks more truth into my life that I realize. When I am all over the place God has given him the temperament to just speak plainly. God knew exactly what he was doing when he gave me Thomas for a husband. In the car while we were stuck in traffic coming home from Seattle God used the conversation to speak. Some how we got on the topic of being anxious and worrying. Something I am a natural at. We talked about how when we worry and are anxious are we trusting in God? I can't remember the exact thought but the way he worded it made me think about the idea of worrying in a different way. I think what finally in my life hit my hard was that when I worry and I am anxious about things I am not trusting and leaning on God. I know something so simple, but the fact that I am not trusting in my completely trustworthy God really hit me. And how I let my desire for control mess things up. And I was finally ale to realize how my husband can be so calm and care free in a sense during tense times. It has always bugged the crap out of me how Thomas can be so calm and nonchalant about high stress situations. To me it seemed like he really didn't care about anything important.
When we were going through premarital counseling there was a part about stress and on a scale of 0-100% of how stressed we are from the different areas of our life. My stress percentage of things that stressed me out was in the 90th percentile. No shocker there. The part that really shocked me was Thomas' results. During a time of extremely high stress he was in the 10th percentile. I was shocked. Not only at how opposite we were but that when we broke down the specifics and saw the list of stressors he only had like a handful of things on the list. My list went the whole length of the page. It has taken me almost 2 years of marriage to finally dig into my husband's head to understand and really know why. It all boils down to one word, TRUST.
Not just any kind of trust. Trust in his heavenly father. Last year I realized just how much I don't really trust God and how little I trust people. That lack of trust really effected my relationship with Thomas and how I lived my life. I trust God with the big things I really know I can't control but even then I fight and tug to make sure I do everything I can before I give up control.
I desire to have the faith and trust in God that I see in my husband. I know though that he hasn't come about his faith simply by just sitting around. He studies and seeks after God daily. He chooses each day to follow God and trust Him even when things are so hard. I am thankful God gave me Thomas to go through life with. And for the many other brother and sisters in Christ he has given me to help support me and call me out on things.
I am no where close to figuring it all out but I know that God's spirit inside will continue to help me and guide me. When I do get anxious or stressed I can give it to God.
1 Peter 5:7 "Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you".
God cares for me. He wants me to give him my anxieties and trust him. He is completely trustworthy. I am so thankful that he never gives up on me and has patience to deal with all of my whys. :-)
Thomas is so good at seeing things in day to day life that I don't always see. He speaks more truth into my life that I realize. When I am all over the place God has given him the temperament to just speak plainly. God knew exactly what he was doing when he gave me Thomas for a husband. In the car while we were stuck in traffic coming home from Seattle God used the conversation to speak. Some how we got on the topic of being anxious and worrying. Something I am a natural at. We talked about how when we worry and are anxious are we trusting in God? I can't remember the exact thought but the way he worded it made me think about the idea of worrying in a different way. I think what finally in my life hit my hard was that when I worry and I am anxious about things I am not trusting and leaning on God. I know something so simple, but the fact that I am not trusting in my completely trustworthy God really hit me. And how I let my desire for control mess things up. And I was finally ale to realize how my husband can be so calm and care free in a sense during tense times. It has always bugged the crap out of me how Thomas can be so calm and nonchalant about high stress situations. To me it seemed like he really didn't care about anything important.
When we were going through premarital counseling there was a part about stress and on a scale of 0-100% of how stressed we are from the different areas of our life. My stress percentage of things that stressed me out was in the 90th percentile. No shocker there. The part that really shocked me was Thomas' results. During a time of extremely high stress he was in the 10th percentile. I was shocked. Not only at how opposite we were but that when we broke down the specifics and saw the list of stressors he only had like a handful of things on the list. My list went the whole length of the page. It has taken me almost 2 years of marriage to finally dig into my husband's head to understand and really know why. It all boils down to one word, TRUST.
Not just any kind of trust. Trust in his heavenly father. Last year I realized just how much I don't really trust God and how little I trust people. That lack of trust really effected my relationship with Thomas and how I lived my life. I trust God with the big things I really know I can't control but even then I fight and tug to make sure I do everything I can before I give up control.
I desire to have the faith and trust in God that I see in my husband. I know though that he hasn't come about his faith simply by just sitting around. He studies and seeks after God daily. He chooses each day to follow God and trust Him even when things are so hard. I am thankful God gave me Thomas to go through life with. And for the many other brother and sisters in Christ he has given me to help support me and call me out on things.
I am no where close to figuring it all out but I know that God's spirit inside will continue to help me and guide me. When I do get anxious or stressed I can give it to God.
1 Peter 5:7 "Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you".
God cares for me. He wants me to give him my anxieties and trust him. He is completely trustworthy. I am so thankful that he never gives up on me and has patience to deal with all of my whys. :-)
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| Picture Thomas took while in Hawaii. |
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